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Writer's pictureGrace Choo

“A promise must never be broken.” Alexander Hamilton

Updated: Dec 16, 2020

Be able to keep a promise when you know in your heart that it is the right thing to do. Half the promises people say were never kept, were never made. Don't ever promise more than you can deliver, but always deliver more than you promise.



DO YOU BELIEVE PROMISE MADE SINCERELY?


Promises are made on behalf of upcoming selves they cannot know will deliver them. Look at a promise as not so much a mandatory deal but an act of loyalty and faith.


Forgiving a person who has broken a promise can be incredibly challenging, especially if the person is a friend, family member, or part of another close relationship.


Breaking promises too often can have a negative effect. Unimportant: When you promise something, you are assuring that someone is particularly important. But at the same time, if you do not keep your word, the person will feel neglected, unvalued, and unimportant.



Example in a dating relationship:


Girl: Dear, Can you promise me that you will not look at another girl other than me?

There 2 types of answers from the Boy which lead to a certain outcome.


Scenario A:


Boy A: "Sure! I promised you!"

Then later Girl saw the boy gazed at another girl.


Girl A: "I thought you promised me you won't look at other than me one!

Why you didn't keep your promise! You lie!"


Scenario B:


Boy B: "Eh... Baby ah... I can't promise you that..." (not finished sentence yet)


Girl B: "Why you can not promise me? You don't love me, is it?

Did you get other girls, is it? Huh?! Tell me!”



In this case, ACTION or PROMISE first to comfort the individual?


It depends on the individual. Some prefer promise then action. Some let their action do the talking. Leaders usually make promises first as they need to share the vision and motivate everyone to achieve it after that. At the end of the day, it is the results and values created that bring joy to others.


Some people make promises too easily. They agree to actions without knowing whether they will be able to keep the promise. This often happens when they are focusing on the short term. The prospect of immediate gain, especially if it is significant, can overwhelm thoughts of future punishment and lead people into deception. We also make promises when we want to be liked and are trying to please people. Saying 'yes' is socially easier than refusal but can lead to disappointment and a decrease in trust.


A broken promise may feel like a huge betrayal and you may find yourself feeling very resentful toward the other person. However, holding a grudge has significant psychological and health implications, and when you do not forgive, you are hurting yourself more than the other person.


  • What is my motive behind the promise?

  • Why am I making a particular promise?

  • What is my purpose?

  • Am I doing this for the receiver or myself?

  • Is it important for me to make this promise?

  • When I break a promise, do I handle it well?


Keeping these things in mind can help us manage commitments more effectively, which helps us feel positive about our track record! Keeping our promises is good for others and good for us!




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